Greek life at UVA is a carefully curated mix of an alarming amount of matching sweatshirts, chapter drama, and pretending you don’t care if you don’t get invited to a date function. But if history’s most legendary women were on Grounds today, which sororities would they run? Because let’s be real—they wouldn’t just be members. They’d be the ones pulling the strings behind the scenes.
So let’s dive in and find out who’s always getting a Crush Date invite, who’s never paying for her own drinks at Coupe’s, and who’s probably blacklisted from every fraternity after one wild weekend. Through highly advanced historical research (i.e., my gut instinct and a few vibes), I have definitively determined which of these queens (both literal and figurative) would get a bid—so grab your lettered hoodie and let’s get into it.
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Ada Lovelace – Kappa Delta
Mathematician, first-ever computer programmer, and the girl you’re convinced is an AI-generated academic weapon, Ada is the girl who actually understands her computer science homework, but when you ask her to explain it, she makes it sound even more confusing. She’s a KD sister who rants about her sorority so much you assume she fits the sorority girl stereotype—but really she’s the smartest person in the room and just acts like it’s no big deal.
She’s the sister who schedules her philanthropy hours like a Google Calendar mastermind, writes everyone’s internship cover letters for fun, and is somehow in a long-term situationship with a finance bro from JMU. Would Ada actually show up to mixers? Absolutely not. Would she create an entire data model predicting which potential new members (“PNMs”) would get bids? Oh, for sure. Would she also ghost her entire chapter for a week because she’s “hyper fixating on something”? Absolutely.
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Joan of Arc – Alpha Chi Omega
Religious warrior, feminist icon before feminism existed, and the original “not like other girls” girl. Joan is the girl who went all out on the medieval date theme because “it’s iconic,” fixes every hangover by mixing liquid IV with Celsius, and refuses to run for an exec position but won’t stop talking and borderline filibustering during elections.
She’s an AXO because AXOs are the ones who actually get things done while everyone else is still arguing about the GroupMe poll. She gets disciplined at standards because she chooses to black out only on the nights of semi- and parent formals. Would Joan scream “For the sisterhood!” before every digicam pic? Absolutely. Would she ghost every frat guy who asks her to a formal just so she can loot through their rooms for some actual hard alcohol with her sisters? Without a doubt.
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Cleopatra – Alpha Phi
Last ruler of Egypt, political mastermind, and the original “it girl.” Cleopatra had two entire empires fighting over her, so she is obviously an Alpha Phi because Aphis have never lost a formal date competition in the history of Greek life. She’s the sister who has a perfectly curated Instagram feed and somehow convinces six guys to send her Venmo payments for no reason.
After functions she gets a guy to Doordash her and her sisters a charcuterie board with a well-timed “wyd” text. For this reason they give her a pass when her long-term Chi Psi situationship Mark Antony shows up outside the house at 3 a.m. yelling for her to unblock him.
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Wu Zetian – Kappa Kappa Gamma
China’s first (and only) empress, ruthless strategist, and the reason every frat president sleeps with one eye open. In 690 B.C. she might’ve been the most powerful ruler in the world, but in 2025 you’d better believe she bleached her hair blonde and leads in Spin Cycle more fiercely than any general in history.
She’s the sister who somehow lands an exec position without even running, never raises her voice but still terrifies everyone, and has a mysterious, powerful alumni network that gets her anything she wants. Would Wu Zetian have a five-year plan for the entire chapter, even though her position is only for one year? Yes. Would Wu Zetian already have a job offer at a major consulting firm despite being a second-year? Obviously.
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Amelia Earhart – Pi Beta Phi
Aviation legend, queen of adventure, and the first woman to ghost an entire continent. Amelia Earhart was always doing something completely unhinged and succeeding at it, so she’s a Pi Phi—because Pi Phis are the girls who are always up for an adventure and somehow never crash and burn (except, well… never mind).
Sporting the notable Pi Phi bob hair cut, she’s the sister who randomly texts the group chat from another country and thinks skydiving is a normal hobby. She once left a date function halfway through to drive to the Blue Ridge Parkway with her sisters “just for fun.” Would Amelia be the girl who signs up for a study abroad program without telling anyone and then just disappears? Absolutely. Would she come back with three new tattoos, a British accent, and zero explanation? Yes.
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Jackie Kennedy – Delta Zeta
First Lady, fashion icon, and the queen of staying composed at all times. Jackie was born for DZ, because DZs are in all the elite clubs on Grounds simultaneously but act like it’s no big deal. She’s the sister who never looks stressed even when she is, has dirt on every fraternity but will never admit it, and somehow has an internship at Vogue without even applying.
She once delivered a perfectly passive-aggressive compliment that haunted you for days. Would she only date Jefferson Society boys because she thinks they’re “more refined”? 100%. Would Jackie show up to every event in the perfect outfit? Yes. Would she secretly judge your dress choice but never say anything? Oh, absolutely.
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Bonus: Kamala Harris and Hillary Clinton – Alpha Kappa Alpha?
When it comes to the most iconic and well-known of the Divine Nine, Alpha Kappa Alpha—the premier historically Black sorority—common sense would tell you that Kamala Harris is a member. And you’d be right. She rushed the real way at Howard, probably strolled into her probate like she was already running for office, and remains an AKA to this day—possibly their most successful political member.
And then there’s… Hillary Clinton. That’s right, the most successful white woman in the history of politics is also an AKA—but on a technicality. Unlike Kamala, who put in the work, Hillary got a “bid” via honorary status, meaning she’s the alumni legacy who didn’t actually go through rush.
Both women have battled their way to the top, both have run for president and lost to Donald Trump, and now, both can say they wear pink and green—though let’s be honest, only one of them can actually pull off a stroll.
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At the end of the day, if history’s most legendary women were on Grounds, they wouldn’t just be attending chapter meetings—they’d be running them. They’d be dominating philanthropy events, stirring up fraternity drama, and mysteriously always knowing what’s going on before everyone else.
Some would be permanent date function legends, while others would cycle through every fraternity in two semesters before declaring all men beneath them. Some would quietly pull Panhellenic strings in the background, while others would drag their entire sorority into an ideological war over mixer themes.
But one thing is certain: if these women were here today, they wouldn’t just be making history—they’d be making sure every bar in Charlottesville knew their names.
And honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.
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