Cute, cuddly, or crazy? Anyone who steps outside notices them. And, like any sane person, I have some very important questions to raise: What are they up to? Why are they so strange? What are they plotting, and who do they work for? Let’s talk about squirrels on Grounds.
In or around almost every single trash can, one can find a squirrel rummaging around doing squirrel things. They are harmless, fluffy, and undoubtedly audacious. While from afar these creatures resemble the ones back home, there are clear differences when up close. The squirrels appear to be wholly unafraid of humans, barely even reacting until the last second. But how and why are these animals so fearless?
One of the reasons must be the close proximity to people. Being around so many students desensitizes squirrels to human noises and movement. Unlike their skittish counterparts back home, these squirrels are constantly around people, so the whole university has become essentially a safe bubble. As the squirrels repopulate, establishing generations of families living on Grounds, they adapt to living next to humans.
Another potential explanation for the bold behavior of squirrels could be the fact that humans feed them. People are not seen as threats here, but rather as ready providers of food. Similar to a Pavlovian response, the sight of humans may act as a sign or an expectation that their hunger will soon be satisfied. The resident squirrels in and around the trash cans are evidence of this. There is an abundance of food available for them, and humans tossing bits of food or throwing out their leftovers provide an easy meal. On more than one occasion, a squirrel has been observed smugly holding some half-eaten piece of food, scampering away on the rim of the garbage. Instead of learning how to forage in nature, squirrels here need not concern themselves with normal gathering skills when we make it so simple for them to eat.
The term “the birds work for the bourgeoisie” became a copypasta meme around 2019 when TikToker Kendrick Smith posted a video that quickly went viral. If you are an avid Internet user, you have more than likely heard something along the lines of that famous statement or the claim that birds aren’t real. In the video, which has been circulated around every social media platform, Smith holds a megaphone announcing that “all of the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them and replacing them with spies that are now watching us. The birds work for the bourgeoisie.” This absurd comment became a full-blown conspiracy that gained participants from all over the world. What started as a seemingly arbitrary joke turned into the “belief” that the birds are a product of the government, sent to spy on us civilians. Now, put this theory and place it in the situation of the strange squirrels…do they work for the bourgeoisie?
While it is fun and nonsense to speculate about all this, the university would not be complete without its quirky squirrels and their bizarre antics. Their fearlessness around humans has become a part of the everyday hustle and bustle of life here, and have earned a place as another fun part of UVA.
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